Over the years of interviews and articles about interviews, time and again, interviewers post the question, “What was the most challenging relationship at your last job and how did you handle it?”

If this isn’t entrapment, I don’t know what is. But honestly, I get what interviewers are trying to find out. They want to know how you handle conflict. They also want to know how you handle speaking of others outside of their presence. I get it. But frankly, I’ve always struggled with this question. Maybe because I’m the eternal optimist. The one that always gives the courtesy laugh when a joke falls flat in a group. The one that wants to redirect away from conflict. The one that thinks she has no enemies.

Obviously you can’t say you’ve never encountered conflict. At the very least they’ll think you’re inexperienced, and at the worst they’ll think you’re lying. Face it, we’ve all experienced conflict, but the way I see it, I spend as much time (or in some cases more) with my coworkers than I do with my actual family. In a sense, my coworkers are my family. We share triumphs and we overcome challenges. We have good days and we have bad days. We may be in a bad mood one day, chipper the next and distracted the following.

The best way to handle conflict is to consider the relationship not the challenge. If you have struggles with certain people, talk about it. They’re not going anywhere, and neither are you. Like family, you’re stuck together so you have to figure out how to make the best of it. If you’re in the wrong, be accountable and apologize as quickly as possible. If there is someone rubbing you the wrong way, most of the time, they have no idea they’re doing it. Harboring all that ill will instead of communicating it will undoubtedly cloud your judgement when it comes to anything that person says or does. You begin to read into things that aren’t there. It’s toxic.

The best thing to do is get over yourself. Get out of your head and get into the game. Everyone is here to contribute something the others do not. That makes all of us important.